"You were adopted?!" This question is often followed by raised eyebrows and a slight amount of disbelief or pity in the inquirer's voice, as though being adopted is a sad phenomenon.
This line of thinking is apparent among children, especially. While growing up, there were several instances of other children telling me that I was adopted because my parents didn't love me. Sometimes I thought this was true, and therefore, there must be something wrong with me.
But then one day I was reading a Chicken Soup for the Soul book, and I came across a meaningful quote about adoption. In the story, a child told her classmates that being adopted means "you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy." How awesome is that?
That quote sums up adoption perfectly for me. After all, what does it take to be a parent? Shared genes? I can think of plenty of people in the world who are biologically related to their children and act like abusive scumbags. Clearly, it takes more than DNA to be a good parent, which is why I hate when people ask me about my "real parents." My real parents are the people who adopted me and loved and cared for me as if I was their own biological child. The woman who gave birth to me and the man who helped with conception are my biological parents, nothing more. My REAL parents are the ones who have wiped away my tears, celebrated my achievements, and loved me unconditionally from the moment I came into their lives. That's what makes real parents.
Something else that drives me nuts is the misrepresentation of foster homes in movies and t.v. shows. Foster parents are depicted as abusive and just in it for the money. While I cannot deny the possibility of less-than-desirable foster situations, they cannot speak for all foster homes. The foster care system does wonderful things and provides a safe and loving environment for children. Some children are placed there while their parents are in rehab, and others like me are placed there until they find adoptive parents. My case is unique because my second set of foster parents decided to stop being foster parents and to adopt me and another little boy. So I was fortunate because the family I found in foster care became my real family. I can only wish every other foster child finds a happy ending like I did, but even if they leave their foster home to be adopted by another family, they find a sense of family while they are living in foster care.
No, being adopted is not something to pity. Don't be sad for me or other children whose parents gave them up. Adoption offers a better life to children like me who would otherwise stay in toxic situations with their biological parents. I can honestly say being adopted is truly the best thing that ever happened to me, and that is not something to pity.
This line of thinking is apparent among children, especially. While growing up, there were several instances of other children telling me that I was adopted because my parents didn't love me. Sometimes I thought this was true, and therefore, there must be something wrong with me.
But then one day I was reading a Chicken Soup for the Soul book, and I came across a meaningful quote about adoption. In the story, a child told her classmates that being adopted means "you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy." How awesome is that?
That quote sums up adoption perfectly for me. After all, what does it take to be a parent? Shared genes? I can think of plenty of people in the world who are biologically related to their children and act like abusive scumbags. Clearly, it takes more than DNA to be a good parent, which is why I hate when people ask me about my "real parents." My real parents are the people who adopted me and loved and cared for me as if I was their own biological child. The woman who gave birth to me and the man who helped with conception are my biological parents, nothing more. My REAL parents are the ones who have wiped away my tears, celebrated my achievements, and loved me unconditionally from the moment I came into their lives. That's what makes real parents.
Something else that drives me nuts is the misrepresentation of foster homes in movies and t.v. shows. Foster parents are depicted as abusive and just in it for the money. While I cannot deny the possibility of less-than-desirable foster situations, they cannot speak for all foster homes. The foster care system does wonderful things and provides a safe and loving environment for children. Some children are placed there while their parents are in rehab, and others like me are placed there until they find adoptive parents. My case is unique because my second set of foster parents decided to stop being foster parents and to adopt me and another little boy. So I was fortunate because the family I found in foster care became my real family. I can only wish every other foster child finds a happy ending like I did, but even if they leave their foster home to be adopted by another family, they find a sense of family while they are living in foster care.
No, being adopted is not something to pity. Don't be sad for me or other children whose parents gave them up. Adoption offers a better life to children like me who would otherwise stay in toxic situations with their biological parents. I can honestly say being adopted is truly the best thing that ever happened to me, and that is not something to pity.